In Case You Were Wondering...

So come back and ch-ch-check it...

...on Tuesday.

Until then: peace, love, hair gel and high fives xoxo

Five from Five - Part Two

Rebuilding my music collection has led to a blog post which led to excitement which led to a second blog post and an extended post. I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with this thing, but, thanks to some very cool people, the journey has a pretty sweet sounding soundtrack so far (mostly because it contains no actual Journey tracks).

If you're not sure what I'm talking about you should probably read this for the "aaaahh" moment.

So check out the next five picks. Once again, I've tried to link the Youtube videos where possible. Have a look and let me know what you think.

1. Hein - the bassist whose next tour involves 40 something shows in 15 days.

5. Anti-Flag - This Is The New Sound

4. Your Demise - Forget About Me

3. Stick to Your Guns - Empty Heads

2. The Ghost Inside - Dark Horse

1. The Ghost Inside - Engine 45

by Amitié Lee Marasi

2. Chante - the party
starter tearing it up under 
the name: DJ Buttons.

5. The Weeknd - High for This

4. Xkore- Full Russian

3. Eva Simmons - I Don't Like You (Nicky Romero Remix)

2. South Central - Beathoven

1. South Central – Sex Pistol





3. Busi - the radio personality who killed the video star.

5. Drake ft Lil Wayne - HYFR

4. ChianoSky - Walking Away

3. John Legend ft Ludacris - Tonight

2. Toya DeLazy - Love is in the Air

1. Meek Mill ft Drake and Jeremih - Amen

4. Keelin - the drummer who sometimes gets paid in vouchers.

5. Frank Ocean - Thinkin’ bout you

4. Issues - King of Amarillo

3. While She Sleeps - Seven Hills

2. Memphis May Fire - Vices

1. Ellie Golding - Halcyon

5. Nick - the half of Life of Riley that breaks out a banjo and glockenspiel at gigs.

5. Two Gallants - Song of Songs

4. Beach House - Wild

3. Beatenberg - Echoes

2. Slow Club - Everything Is New

1. Wild Nothing - Only Heather

What's your five? Donate your recommendations to the "Help Shark Rebuild Her Music Collection" Fund. It's a good cause.

Five from Five - Part One

I scream, you scream, we all scream because my laptop crashed and I lost all my music. Rebuilding the collection has been more tedious than Nicholas Cage's film career, but, luckily, I've received some excellent recommendations and I've decided to extend it into a blog post. 

I've asked some rad friends for their best five songs of the year - and, where possible, I've linked their picks to the related Youtube videos so you and your ears can perv over them. 

I wish I could give you download links, but that's piracy and that's illegal. So if you want to keep the tracks you musn't go to listentoyoutube.com because that site turns Youtube urls into downloadable mp3s and that's bad.

Feel free to add your five or recommendations in the comments section- I'd love to check out some more music.

1. Justin - the VelociTraptor who also goes by the name Loud Lungs. 

5. Leechi - Puppet Master (Original Mix) 

4. Phizicist - Fucking Kyle

3. Major Lazer feat. Flux Pavillion - Jah No Partial (Original Mix)

2. Birdy Nam Nam - Goin' In (Skrillex Goin' Hard Mix)

1. A-Trak and Dillon Francis - Money Makin' (Oliver Twizt TrapRemix)

2. Sembene - the radio voice who sounds like he's on radio even when he's not on the radio.

5. Jimmy Nevis - Heart Boxing

4. Rudimentary Feat. John Newman - Feel the Love

3. Swedish House Mafia Feat. John Martin - Don't You Worry Child

2. Bruno Mars - Locked Out of Heaven

1. Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love

3. Cadillac - the Facing the Gallows guitarist who makes a habit of melting faces with his guitar.

5. Devil Sold His Soul - The Disappointment

4. As I Lay Dying - Overcome

3. Periphery - Ragnarok

2. While She Sleeps - Dead Behind the Eyes

1. Gotye - Somebody I Used to Know

4. Sherwin - the events manager who brings us those ridiculous trance parties we go to but can't remember.

5. Markus Schulz - Tempted

4. Lange - Crossroads

3. Andrew Rayel & Jano - How Do I Know

2. Gareth Emery - Concrete Angel

1. Rex Mundi - Steaming Waterfalls

5. Jessica - the sound technician with a voice that should be on the stage and not behind it.

5. Truth and Its Burden - My Distance

4. Hawkboy - King Folly

3. Five Iron Frenzy - It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

2. Tim Hutchinson - Elementary Wisdom

1. mewithoutYou - East Enders Wives





Jess and Justin wrote some baby essays to justify their picks. You can find their full responses here. Worth a read.

BoyBandTuesday: A Backstreet Guide To Airport Etiquette

If the Backstreet Boys weren't the soundtrack to your childhood - shame, you probably grew up in Upington. BSB are undoubtedly one of the most successful pop acts of all time and whether you like it or not, you know their lyrics- everyboooody (yeah, yeah) does. But how familiar are you with their music videos? I've recently noticed that these cinematic masterpieces serve not only as the Vogue of 90s teendom but they also double as instructional guides to very specific life lessons.

Some of their most practical lessons are drawn from their travel experiences and documented in their video for "I Want it that Way". So, without any further ado, here's:

Backstreet's Five-Step Guide to Airport Etiquette

STEP 1: Make the best of  DELAYS

These are inevitable. Not even 130 million record sales will save you from a delay. The key to making it through without getting your bandana into too many knots: stay calm. Sure it ain’t nothing but a heartache but it’s something you have to deal with. Use your frustration to inspire some heartfelt lyrics or do something productive like a security check.

STEP 2: Get into SECURITY CHECKS

Know your entrances and exits. If you’ve ever watched a Jason Bourne movie you’ll know it’s just as important to know your way through an airport as it is to know your way on a plane. Make sure your exits are accessible - from both ways.

Also note that security checks are a gruelling process. Most checks at international airports require you to remove your shoes. It’s natural to be mindful that someone might take your shoes. It would be even more embarrassing if security confiscated them. BSB offers an easy solution: wear the ugliest shoes possible and not even security will want them.

STEP 3: Try to AVOID LEG CRAMPS

Being stuck in a tiny space for hours means sometimes your muscles get angry and cramp in rebellion. It’s not exactly easy to stretch and get around on a plane, so your best option is to dance it out and get the blood pumping before your flight.The airport is full of open spaces where you and your friends can bust out a routine or two.

STEP 4: Always PACK LIGHT

Airlines and their varying definitions of surplus baggage is a tedious affair. It's in your best interest to avoid the entire situation by packing minimally.  Who wants to wait around a carousel anyway? Ditch the bags for versatile clothing such as AJ’s parachute pants or Kevin’s trench coat/bath robe. These items are conveniently patterned with pockets in which you can store your next outfit.

STEP 5: Take precautions with GROUP TRAVEL

When travelling in large groups, it can be tricky to keep track of everyone. Dressing identically is a sure solution to this problem. BSB’s all white ensemble is an excellent example. This way you can approach security asking: “have you seen someone dressed exactly like me?”. Also - the all-white-accompanied-by-a-black-belt look is one that won’t be willingly replicated by anyone outside your group.

Following these practical steps will guarantee a pleasing air travel experience. For more Backstreet instructional life guides consult the following videos:

• Everybody (Backstreets Back) –Halloween Faux Pas
• Quit Playing Games (With My Heart) – Playground Ethics
• As Long As You Love Me – How To Execute Correct Chair Posture

BoyBandTuesday!

Look - whether you love them or secretly love them, there’s no denying the legacy of boy bands. With multi-platinum albums and enough money to finance an elaborate mesh vest collection, these boys must be doing something right, right? (If you don't understand what I'm talking about here's 63 excellent examples.)

It's high time for a little tribute. So consider this the official announcement:

(I spent a little more time than I'd like to admit on this banner)

How will it work? Well, I’ll be featuring videos of boys that are in bands - on Tuesdays. It probably won't happen every Tuesday, but when it does happen it’ll be on a Tuesday.

It won't be all sing-alongs though - every now and then I'll throw a spanner or a pair of parachute pants into the works. In fact, I was thinking that, for the first few installments, I’ll be looking at those bands that made frosted tips seem acceptable in a little discussion about the life lessons they taught us.

So break out those pencils and start winding up those cassettes. It is happening.

A Poem: On Having An Empty Blog

by Shark I-Keep-Forgetting-My-Password Naidoo

I came to visit my blog
But there's nothing here to see.
I have a million drafts
But in posts - there's only three.
I still don't have anything to say
So I'll just complain instead
But complaining is kinda boring
Especially when those complaints are read.
But you don't have to worry
I will spare you the grief
I'll save the moaning for twitter
Everyone is depressed in their tweets.
I'll keep this post cheery
By keeping a rhythm in the lines
Although that's not my only motive
There are other benefits in rhyme.
Like, for instance, since you're reading
You have this rhythm in your head
Which means you're obliged to finish
Or the rhythm will be dead.

(Muwahahahaahaha. But I digress.)

In terms of saving this blog
I'll guess I'll write a few more posts
But don't expect anything profound
or any Wiz Khalifa quotes.
And maybe one day I'll consider
Publishing all those drafts
But until then you can find me on Tumblr
Where I post funny things for laughs.

I'm not sure what else to say
I sure don't have a future as a rapper
Hope you've had a nice day
If not, here's a cool looking cracker:

How to be Classy in Three Easy Steps:

All you have to do is:

1) Open this tab

2) Then open this tab

3) And finally watch this


Et Voilà. Class.

(I'd love to claim this, but I found it here)